a matter of monitoring words and actions to reshape the interior
She’s falling in
But I said
it’s
okay
I’m falling in
But she said
it’s
okay
one more
time
something which started with such optimism, rationality and altruism
who’s to say who really made it what it is today
the americans? the conservative rightists of the south? the power-hungry leaders of the north?
if the economy had not collapsed due to the famine, would not it have become a beautiful manifestation of modern socialism?
asaaaaap
bright eyed honeys with their designs
At that very moment, you’re no longer an individual entity; your essence weaves into the melody and the vibrations through your body align with the rhythm, your brain waves fall in step with the tide
I don’t know if that’s the deal with everybody else.. my suspicions are that it isn’t.. for them, isn’t it just another intoxicant, a spot of background music?
I feel it’s visceral.
I wish the same structure I’m attempting to inject into my wardrobe would manifest itself summarily in my life.
although I don’t have my ears pierced, I don’t think it’s something I’ll push. Dyed hair, yes, tattoos and piercings 80 to 20 no.
you know what I adore, the violet iridium lenses that oakley produces. but none of their frames work for me. woe betide.
I still have hushed whispered discussions with myself about diamantes. I’m starting to turn to them, but for the most part the thought of a gaping abscess lusting after its runaway resident turns my stomach, a tad.
imagine all monochrome with this bamf baby
hello my sexy would you like to crawl under my bedsheets and let me stroke your soft skin
oh baby you’re so smooth and succulent
yes edm may be visceral but bags are sexual
I really have nothing to say about these apart from that they’re sold out on solestruck and that really renders my soul a little cracked I feel like voldemort after he’s seen hepzibah’s cup
voldevie
weekend getaway can we run away somewhere and get lost in places more than each others’ eyes
something’s got to give, and at the moment it’s a lot of pink and regrettable shops, I think I’d rather give it all away than make a measly profit
need plum pants and knits how does one pronounce knuts like kanoots or nuhts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXBQ5q48ZQI
gorgeous as you are, you make me sick.
cheesy cheeky looking awry
salivating you beautiful bowl
I will do this healthy eating thing.
Soon.
:b
printing this out and putting it on the wall like I do the corpses of my dreams and dashed hopes
at the crossroads intersections forks and dead ends
scale the wall and flee the fences
pyongyang where it at bitchez
shit dat cray
take a look at yourself and can you honestly tell me you are proud of who you are and you do not believe you have deficiencies to be plugged
fix you
strolls and soul-searching
yunno I wish I lived in a city which didn’t sleep, then I could do the whole baseball cap and hoodie thing and not be fearful of attackers in shadows
dappled reflections and imitations of gold
fool’s gold
there was something much more authentic though
gilded over and coated with excess
I need you more than I can take
and then you take it all away
pre-meditated
meditation
mediation
medium and media
hold on to anything
I don’t think it’s irrational nor rational
simply
pre-ordained
changeable
but ordained.
valentina assoluto
because there was none, there was only transition, experimentation, fluidity and transformation.
perfection is frozen and subjective, frozen in frames
one
switch
one
won
brought back from the brink
save yourself
brown paper bags
madeon
light light lightening hair
imperius conqueror
sans liner
and I know, as with everytime, memories fade faster than the movement of quicksand
some natural defence mechanism which blocks out everything, both the happy and the bad
spilled nail polish remover (I swear I keep doing this lately)
such strangling and knotting
heaviness which becomes all the more stagnant the more one remains still
no questioning why
comprehensible
reprehensible
drew the shorter straw
the shorter end of the stick
fie
fin
–
I tried before
it came to fruition
but the fact scenario is grossly different
of course to everyone
I smile
laugh
shrug
and
sing
soldier on
–
sinking head over shoulders
whispering
one cannot miss something one never had
hissing
yet I know better
than to chase after something
like that fruition from before
bore mere bitter fruit
rotten and mulch
discard and discord
drunk on your tears
vow of sobriety
because what the fuck are alcohol, drugs, music and sex going to do for you when you’re hobbling onto your deathbed
because this is neither logical nor advisable
but one throws caution to the winds
and dives headfirst
too deep to get cold feet
trying to grow up
puppies sunning themselves and gambolling around like listless, wistful heads of dandelions
I’m getting very reliant on make-up. I mean, I can still rock up to work with 2 minutes to spare and a bare face avec chapped lips, but the moment I stumble back into my room and drop a kiss on my comatose puppy’s soft cheek and spot my reflection in the closet mirror, I mentally backhand myself and dive for the eye primer.
eyes sliding out of focus, brainwaves settling into a plateau of slumber
even when I’m falling I’m flying
I don’t like to wear things that other people have. No, seriously, who wants to look like someone else? Or, at that, like everyone else?
that’s why we insist upon the vintage, the boutiques, the markets, the suitcase rummages, the corner shops and the garage sales
each day I say I’ll do it, and then I convince myself that tomorrow will bring more auspicious circumstances for completion, and the next day I shake my head a little and coax myself into believing tomorrow will only bring better conditions
It’s lamentable that I deigned to allow such scum to mar my carpet. I console myself with the fact that said scum was timely scuffed off the floors and ejected summarily.
I’m terribly indecisive when it comes to filters. I still bristle up with barely constricted fury when I think of instagram and how it forces its devotees to view the world through square lenses.
because once the psychological games commence, I know I’ll be kept to the bleachers. been there twice, it’s highly effective for performance endurance.
unlike peasants, I take care with the structure of my prose, paying meticulous attention to word usage and punctuation placement, rhythm and symbolism abound
I don’t just run my mouth like a hiccoughing lawnmower
after all is said and done and the sun sets with no mercy, I hope you don’t abandon me because you think I did myself.
relapses are strange phenomena. they’re alright when we’re lucid. only when we’re completely so, though.
and then people are like ‘rita who?’ and I’m like ‘fuck let’s get you out from under that rock quick smart’
I need to go do like 4 loads of laundry + wash my dishes + vacuum + fix my toilet light so I’m out
